Discovery Centre trip
It was the day for the school excursion to the Discovery centre, we made our way towards the SALT centre to line up there, before hastily making a beeline towards the bus. All of us were very excited and we chit-chatted on the bus all the way to the Discovery Centre. When we finally reached there, it was already 3:00+.We learned a lot about the civil defence force and Total Defence Day. After an exciting day we quickly went back with light hearts. i look forward to going there again.
At 91 words, your passage is evidently very very short. Mr Lundburg requested at least 150 words. The passage started well but ended too hastily, causing the very little amount of words.
ReplyDeleteI am not trying to insult you but quite a few of your passages ae short and I will like to give an advice inwriting longer passages.
You could add more descriptive words into the middle and endig of your passages. This will not only make your passage longer, it will make it more vivid in description. I hope to read more of your posts in the future.